Living a life of stillness in this busy world

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Friends, let’s be honest on this day, today.  My  heart is heavy with stuff.  Yeah, I try to put it all together out there for others to see, flawless and whole.  But that’s not me.  I’ve been honest with myself and have taken a long look at what my life what it is about.  In this busy life we call ours, it’s really becoming a management of one urgent crisis or another.

My shoulders are heavy and tired and weak.

“Lord, I lift my burdens to You alone and I lay them down at your feet.  Will you give me some simplicity today?”  I prayed those words the other day.  I simply put it all out there for God to hear.  Liberation came in just in the confessing and I realized that I was trying to do things on my own.

Immediately, I was convicted of some false insecurities that continue to rise up (in my soul and spirit) and drag, weigh, and bear down upon my mind.  My problems, my cares, my duties, my hopes, my dreams were anchored in my own efforts.  “Wait…I thought to myself…I have freedom in those areas.”  Or at least I thought I did.

In the confessing, I realized I was trying to create a comfortable life for myself and my feelings.  On top of that, I also realized that I was covering my life with right “to-do’s” or tasks and such but I was forgetting about the one important thing needed.  Can we just be honest today?  Aren’t there those days we all face, where it takes this kind of realization to see where you need to grow in your simplicity of managing life?

What I heard back from God, (yes, I know it was His voice) was “Will you just walk with Me?”.  

There were a lot of tears involved in the process.  Then I remembered a season in my life that I used to cry often everyday and all day.  My life was full of regret of a list of things that I never accomplished.  My next thought became one of rejoicing because of a major shift and many changes that have occured in the recent years of  my life.  I don’t live a life of regret-filled days anymore.

I rejoiced in the fact that those days of regret are over and now I can choose to adopt the pace of God, my Father, in the life of my today.  If I could let you into my brain for a moment, there’s a stillness that needs to happen inside of your thoughts that causes you to choose your best life in considerations of what you have around you, the blessings in life instead of the regrets of life.  (I am realizing this lifestyle goes deeper than your task list or the things you think about any morning like…”I’m behind on so many things!” kind of thinking.)

Now I’m getting stuck in the multiple list of thoughts that come rising up in a woman’s mind especially when she feels behind, unfulfilled and a list of unmet needs are left open in her life.  Okay, now back to the choosing.

There has to be season that as you are emptying your life of what it isn’t, and there is a choice to rejoice in what it is.  In the choosing to accept the rejoicing, the living, the owning your life, the doing of life, you must celebrate with what you have, and begin believing that anything is possible with God in the middle of it all.

There I said it, not simply said, because life isn’t like that.  At all.  It’s complicated, full of tensions, stresses, and problems.  But when we confess that we can’t do life without God, then that’s when the miracles start happening.  In that way of thinking, you have to admit there is more than what God has intended FOR you and designed you for and you MUST surrender the controls over to HIM.  He knows what is best and right and good FOR you.  He knows how big your tiny shoulders are.  He knows your capacity for loads and He hasn’t forgotten your to-do list.  He put the passions inside of you to accomplish what He has designed you for.

He hasn’t forgotten where He has put those things.  Have you forgotten where your strength comes from?  I did.  I honestly thought…”okay God, I can do this (believing that I had to do what He has called me to do on my own.)  That’s not right honestly, because I need God to accomplish what HE has put inside of me to do and what HE wants to purpose in my life.

Simply said, I need Jesus every hour of the day to live.  Honestly, this IS the life I am in (and I don’t know how it is with you).  I need Him to carry me, to help me choose what I need to be doing, to carry out what He wants me to do, and most days I am overwhelmed simply by His goodness in my life.  I am complicated, full of tensions, and stresses just like you.  Challenges come and go, but I can’t live or exist as His much loved child without Him.

These are the things that are on my mind today.  What’s on yours?

 

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The truth about us according to Sheldon

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And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” ~ John 8:32

Let’s just get to the truth of us.  We are different.  The truth about me is that my life is different than yours.  I didn’t always think that way, nor did I allow myself to.  There was one person who came to me early and said “it couldn’t be done.”  I said, “What?”  I only stated I wanted to lead people to the heart of God through word and deed.  She said, “Everyone wants to do that.”  Oh yeah?  “Why not me too?”, I asked silently.

For years, that took a turn for the worse in my mind.  I found myself thinking that if everyone is doing that, it meant it I couldn’t do it.  If writers where already doing that there was no room to try.  Was she frustrated with that goal in her life and was she tired of trying to prove it to the writing world?  If so, then I why should I even consider doing the same?

I believe that God puts things inside of us to make a difference in our worlds.  I write mostly because it’s my way of expression of what has happened in my life, the lessons I have learned along the way, and the path that I follow as I draw near to God’s heart.

I don’t know how you think about significance in the world.  There a part of us that always wants to call attention to ourselves, to say “look at me, look at what I have done, look at what my life means, look over here, look at who I am!”  Thus the birth of Instagram.  We look here or there, we look everywhere for our place to make a difference and to be a difference maker.  Have you ever considered your significance was set long ago?  Did you know that you too are significant FROM the middle of God’s heart?

Maybe you have let go of a dream that seems unattainable.  There are ideas in your mind that seem huge and grandeur.  You just need some attention and you are looking everywhere to make your little niche in the world, hoping secretly someone, anyone, will notice you.  I don’t know about you but I know what all those feelings feel like.  There were years that I mourned the loss of my dreams, in fact, the desire to blog at all died a little.  Guess what?  My numbers tanked.

So what’s the point of this little letter to you? When it comes to dreams, goals, and the desires of your heart, there is only one Person that knows you better than you know yourself.  Goodness, I am so thankful that I didn’t listen to one person’s opinion.

I am so glad that I didn’t have the math seed planted inside of me also.  This idea seems a bit trite doesn’t it?  From where I sit, there are so many people proving themselves by the numbers.  From what I see, THAT is a highly competitive field where there is no place for a newbie like me.  Science, math, and the proving of all things theory related enters the realm of discovery that is bursting at the seams.  Honestly I’ll let Sheldon handle those issues.  (Big Bang Theory)

The truth about us is that God has placed seeds of Himself inside of us that are unique to just us.  Life travels across our lives and gives out big doses of discouragement and failure everywhere.  I have found out that it’s about your perspective about those failures that take a toll on your life.  My writing mentor, a published author of now four titles, says struggling with these desires to do what you think you are to do in this life is normal.

We don’t talk about that though.  What if you knew the truth about us deep thinkers who can’t comprehend math problems?  Does that make us less significant?  Where are the most popular, the most important, the highest read blogs, the biggest elephants, the giants?  Where are the creative thinkers in this world that flunked High School English?

There is a place in this world for warriors of the Word.  I’ve always wanted to prove that I was normal.  For years, I’ve lived an extreme lifestyle by living in obesity.  Living in extremes on the outside of my life is really an indicator of what is churning on the inside.  Yes, I’ve lived my share of rejection, cancer, medical crisis after medical crisis, oppression, slavery, intimidation, etc.  Many outside hindrances that have stabbed my desires to behave or react one way or another.

The truth about me that when I wanted to find who I was in this world, and step into my destiny, the biggest hindrance was me and what I believed about me.  I had forgotten who God was in my desires and delights.  Could that be true about you?

We have nothing to prove in this world except how to love to others.  

It’s all about God.  The truth about us is that we want the world to know more about us, than about God.  That’s why we live those happy-joy-joy-lives in the virtual world on Facebook and Pinterest.  That’s why when we dress for the day, we put on our contentment masks and act all happy significant and confident.  We want people to look at what WE are doing over what God is doing in us.  It’s is a dog-eat-dog world out there in three exact words, I would guess even Sheldon knows that.

“I have to prove myself to the world, because that is the only way I will gain importance and significance.” ~ lair, lair pants on fire! some old wise proverbial thinker.  When we are clamoring to say, “Look at what I have done!”  aren’t we are calling attention to ourselves, and not expressing God’s true heart for the world?.  Does God keep a list or a tally of the numbers, the gains, the faults, the flaws, and the failures?

When we are seeking the heart of God, His approval and significance is all we need.  Perhaps that person was right when she said, “Everyone wants to do that.”  Yeah, in fact, I believe there are more wanting to express themselves over the Perfect Love in this world.  There are certainly many preachers, teachers, and wannabes.  But when you are proving your significance about yourself, honestly I don’t want any part in that role.

The world is already full of empty hearts showing off.  The world is full of those spouting opinions for their right to be right or heard.  There are already plenty of voices that demand attention in ways that are gaining the world’s significance.  That place isn’t my place.  If I can’t write it from a heart of love FOR my Father, then there is no reason to be in a place that is just calling attention to me.  Freedom calls us to speak the truth about us, in view of God’s mercy.  So if I am feeling the right to be heard, or the right to express myself according to my way of thinking then, I need to go back to my quiet place and remember where my significant place comes from in this world.

This place isn’t my significance.  That was finished in three simple words, “It is finished!”  That’s my place in His heart.  To make God‘s name known, not my own.  So, I’ll be here writing from my place in this big ‘ole word world, with my only number one agenda, that God is truth.  He is always right, and He is at work in me to perfect me along every path in life.  And the truth is it was proven long ago.  My role here prove His love and significance to the world.

What I have in common with a giraffe

There’s a child’s book that speaks to me every time I read it. It’s about a giraffe named Gerald who dreams of dancing with the other animals in the jungle.

Oh my, how Gerald has the desire to dance and be like the others.  Gerald doesn’t really have dancing dreams of grand and great, necessarily, he just wants to dance. His knees are crooked and his legs are thin, and all the other animals mock him when he approaches the dance floor at the annual Jungle Dance.  All his jungle friends sneer and call him weird. He doesn’t have the beat, the sway or the swag like his fellow jungle swingers, like the chimps, the rhinos or the warthogs.

Gerald is just looking for his rhythm, his place, his niche, his dancing legs among all the other jungle dancers.    He took lessons, he studied others moves, he longingly dreamed of owning his unique sway and style. One day, an unlikely source of encouragement came from an a cricket who came at just the right time.  The cricket showed one glum giraffe that those who are different “just need a different song.”

Gerald wanted to have a different beat, a unique style all his own and pace his steps to the beat of his own design.   Gerald took the cricket’s advice.  He went to his own little jungle corner and danced to the beat of his inner design and just danced.  Soon Gerald was prancing and sashaying and boogying to moon music (with a cricket accompanist).  The jungle crowd came to watch Gerald in amazement and recognized that indeed he could dance after all.

All he needed was his own little space be brave and bold.  Gerald found his rhythm to dance while dancing.

How many of you are looking for your purpose?  Your inner design that makes you wish you were dancing free in the middle of the jungle without a care in the world?  Dancing like no one was watching?

What Gerald showed me was that you have to have courage to seek what your purpose is.  As a writer I have been looking for my voice for years. I finally learned how to dance like I am designed to dance.  And it feels good, right and awesome.

I don’t care who’s watching.  I’m writing to the beat of my design and my Designer.  I have been created for this and God has said it’s a good work.  But wait you say, this is a new thing, this blog?

Yes, it is but what I have learned is that I can’t dance without Him taking the lead.  Since my steps have already been determined, there’s no fear in the size or direction this will take.  The size of this place doesn’t matter but the confidence I have in God to make a place for my dancing does.

All the jungle’s got the beat, but Gerald the giraffe has four left feet.  Until he found his courage to brave the jungle with his own moves, he didn’t know what he was capable of. We are all looking for our place in this world.  When we find the place we’re were meant to be, we can discover more about ourselves than we every thought possible.

But the search for purpose sometimes leads to unexpected places.  You never know were the journey will take you when it begins with God. There has be a time when you decide to own your dance, your voice, your story.  If you don’t decide to grip the design that God has for you, then fear will always get the best of your courage and tell you can’t, won’t, or shouldn’t.

Fear dances around you while others appear dancing perfectly.  Their moves are smooth and fluid, flowing and practiced.  It appears they have been dancing all of their lives but they have only just begun. Ever wonder how dancers get their start?  They dance.  How did Gerald get his start?  It wasn’t by being a jungle wallflower waiting for someone to invite him to dance.

No, Gerald just started.  He took action on his confidence and simply danced to the beat in his heart.  All the jungle friends gathered and watched and stood in amazement that he could dance after all.

Dancing takes courage, dancing takes skill, but you will never learn how until you step and find out what you are made of.  To create takes guts, it’s risky and it’s hard.  It’s never to late to be what you might have been.

What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies with us.

Life isn’t about finding yourself, but rather more about overcoming yourself to let the awesome design placed inside of you out.  It’s never too late to discover awesome, nor write or tell about it.  It’s a story that we like to hear over and over.

Dance till you find your voice, write until you right your voice, dream until you see awesome.  It’s not the size of your dream but rather WHO you look to fulfill your dreams, who you turn to for confidence that sticks.

Confidence in God matters.

Keep on dancing friends.  If this blog has helped you in one small way, will you dance along with me and follow this new grace?  It would mean a lot to me to have company as we discover awesome stuff together.