Who’s Ashley Madison and why I haven’t said anything until now.


I don’t know if you have been listening to the news lately but there’s a site out there on the world wide web that is specifically set up to hook up people who are hungry for affairs online.  It’s more of a sophisticated “dating” game, and I just heard about it last week.  I don’t know who to be mad at first. Should I be mad at the site itself?  The hackers who uncovered this huge moral scandal?  The people that were going to this site?  Those that knew it existed and yet turned their head to it?  Josh Duggar?

This post may kill my following but it’s time to speak out about how I feel about this.  I think I am more mad at myself because I didn’t know.  I tend to think the best of people and am not suspicious of any kind of covert activity even though this culture we live in is fueled by it.  I tend to take people for their word, over their actions.  I tend to believe the best about what people say versus what others say about them.  In other words, I don’t take much stock in liars.

I know by doing so that puts myself into a self-appointed seat of judgement.  There is always two sides to every story.  I believe there is a truth side to every lie as well.  There’s a whole book about truth, it’s called The Holy Bible.  If you brush the dust off of a copy then you will find a great source of truth that still applies to our lives today.

Maybe I just need a reminder of who God is before I choose who to be mad at.  The same feeling came over me when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of the legalization of same-sex marriages.  I didn’t know who to be mad at first.  The judges, the activists, the victims, or the victory itself.  Then I realized that I couldn’t say what I wanted to say with a tongue of love and chose to say nothing.  That doesn’t mean I don’t care, because I do.  It seemed that the world was already condemning everyone involved with judgement so I refrained from speaking a word about it.

Then I checked my motives for saying anything in the first place, and then I swallowed my pride and asked a harder question of “How would have Jesus responded to this legal court decision?”  I think I have arrived at an answer for now that passifies my hearts desire to act on what I know.

There’s a story of a woman who was sent to a place to get some water.  She had to go at a different time than everyone else because of her covert behavior, which wasn’t’ necessarily a secret to her community.  She might have forgotten that people were judging her from the outside, and never took time to listen to her story.  How and why she got to accept this lie over her life, I don’t know, but she went to get water when no one else was around.  I think it’s because she couldn’t suffer the public ridicule any more, and just accepted her life as it was feeling rejected and outcast.  She was definitely a survivor and but needed a touch of grace as we all do.

At the public well, which was on the edge of town, she met a man who showed her some grace.  This man, Jesus, was there because he was weary from his travels.  Instead of asking her why she was there alone, or why she had her head hanging low, or what she was doing there in the first place, Jesus asked her for a drink.  Then she replied, “You’re asking me? A woman of Samaria?”  “Why you don’t even have anything to draw your water with?”  Everyone knows that if you show up at a well you need something to put the water in.

What she didn’t know was who Jesus was and why he was talking about giving her “living water”, or in her case a release from the life that she was running from.  Everyday, I think she contemplated her life back and forth from the well, and every day she came to the same conclusion of that she was used up, worthless, rejected and had given into her lost or her deferred dreams of ever being accepted by society or by her family, culture, or whoever was tormenting and ridiculing her.  This is just what I am thinking she was thinking, only my opinion.

How often we speak lies over our lives and then silently agree with them and it becomes a self-fulling prophecy over us without us knowing.  We don’t know anything about her except that she came from Samaria and a lived differently than many others.  But she did listen to truth the one time it mattered.  Jesus was willing to share truth with her disregarding her background of many husbands, even though he knew beforehand her story.

So what does all this have to do with me being mad at people who make choices that I don’t choose to make?  You see, I’m not really mad at people who make different choices than me. I’m not mad at Josh Duggar because he lied and then tried to cover it up.  I’m heart broken over the now so many wrecked marriages that the Ashley Madison site has caused.  But I have to remember that people who don’t know Christ as Lord of their lives don’t realize their sin, nor the consequences of their actions.  Somewhere I wonder if Josh Duggar was just going through some life numbing pain or lost his grip on reality or couldn’t hear what the Holy Spirit was trying to tell him.

Honestly I’ve been there too.  I’ve thought I was in tune with God and found out that I had believed a lot of lies about me, myself, and I.  And I’ve believed a lot of lies that I assumed that God thought about me.  So I get the distractions, I get the misdirection, I get the going-through-the-motions kind of behavior.  I get the good little church girl syndrome.

And because I get it, I can’t judge someone else’s story.  I wouldn’t want you to do that to me.  As much grace has been given, so it’s grace that I give.  I am a free, forgiven child of the living God and His forgiveness covers a multitude of mistakes.  My mistakes are no larger or smaller than yours.  The consequences are different for all of us but sin is sin to God.  It all separates and only God knows the condition of your heart and mine.

So when someone’s life looks different than yours, when someone’s choices are not the ones you would make, it’s not my place to change you or to judge you.  That puts me into a seat that is not fitted for me.  But God’s grace is fitted for you and me.  And that’s where I will remain.  What makes me mad is that there are so many people who are buying into the lie of lifestyles, dating sites, and whatever else hits the world with a evil twist.  What provokes my anger is the havoc that the Enemy is causing in marriages and families.  What continues to happen is the the Enemy looks like he is winning this war for our souls and all God’s people can do is point a finger at those who are just coming to the well and looking for a drink of Living Water.

That’s what breaks my heart.  What about you?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s