When you need to change your prayers

Isaiah 43:2  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

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There was a time in my life that I kept asking God the “why” question.  I was obsessing about what was going on in my life at the time.  Chaos was ruling my thoughts, I knew that God had me in His grip but there was some pretty desperate things going on around me, and creating worry, stress, and concern everywhere I looked.

Then cancer hit our family.  And I added another “why” to my list of prayers to God.  “Oh God, ‘why’ my husband and not me?

I don’t know where cancer hits you, but it hit our family like a Mack truck, just like the one my husband used to drive.  It hit hard, fast and within a few tests.  I was crying out to God literally all the way home one day from his first surgery.  Why God?

“Why God, why my husband and not me?

Why? Why? Why?

“I’m the strong one God, why him?”

God’s response?  “Because I want to prove my strength through your husband.”

When life hits you with this kind of tragedy, you feel like you can’t breathe.  When your entire life is on a “bobsled to Hell”, it’s hard to look up and not ask “why him”, or “why her?”  “why my child?”  How about when everything you know that is safe, familiar and comfortable is ripped from your grip?

It’s difficult to not respond with our “why” questions.

What God showed me was to not ask why but to show me my devotion as my husband’s helper and to give strength in ways that God knew I had.  We came out of that cancer season alive.  We survived that season through the strength that God supplied.  We went through that with many promises of healing, and it was the just one of the difficult seasons of our marriage.

Life is full of tragedies, but God never causes them.  He does strengthen us through each of one of them.  And I have found great strength since that one cancer-filled season.  I go back to those days often, remembering the faithfulness of God who didn’t give me what I wanted but showed me how to meet the needs of our family.

God showed me His Strength to carry on, and the true hope of healing.  Thank you God for hearing my prayers and answering them in a way that only gives you glory.  

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