Here’s to finding refuge

As a child I would run to my “safe place” often.  It was on my quilt-covered bed where I had many private conversations with my imaginary friend.  It was a place where I poured out my little girl heart with a big imagination.  I really found a lot of comfort there until I grew up and turned to food for what I was looking for.

We look for love and comfort in all the wrong places as a child.

This refuge was a place that gave me a false sense of security I craved.  O…to be young and ten again.  My little imaginary friend was a specific spot on the wallpaper near my bed.  I had many conversations of how I was treated as a chubby school girl on the play ground.  I was picked last, picked on, and picked invisible in the classroom of life.

I wanted to disappear as the target of harmful words.  How many of you are still singing this childhood ditty to make your ego feel better?

“Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

Yeah, I me too.

When I came home from the playground hurting, my compassion came from my imaginary understanding little friend who held my hand, cried the same tears and sang the same song, chorus after chorus.

It’s a shame that love is spoken so lame and comes out so clumsy.  We really need be better at speaking love to others.  I really need to be better at showing love to others.  We need God’s love to infiltrate our lives and to understand His deep love for us.  That’s where true love flows and heals the clumsy words that come from within.

As a child, I suffered many clumsy words from others, from myself, and from the silence of others.  There was some comfort in crying openly to a place that wouldn’t bark back.  As an adult I suffer many clumsy words from others, and from the silence of others.  

There’s no comfort in the absence of love.

 “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou

From the world of childhood pain there is a lot of invisible work that God is doing to heal those spots that still sting.  I’m gaining love when it comes to recognizing the unloving words and feelings that come out clumsy.  God’s love is proving strong.

God is my source and strength for all hurting places as my Refuge now.  When those stones and sticks are thrown my way, I have a place to lay those hurts within His grace.  It’s a process to look past the words that might be hurting deep and let them grow you.  Otherwise those hurting words will destroy you.

When words of God’s love are sown, it grows love.  When words of hurt are sown, it’s a refuge you must destroy. 

We have to remember that hurt people hurt people.  People are dealing with so much pain of various forms these days.  But I have learned that I can’t put my heart and tears into the lap of anyone else but my Refuge that catches all my clumsy words, the words I speak with love and those left unsaid.

In the silence of God’s healing place, I have heard His love song over my hurting places as child that have so needed healing.  I have become more graceful in what I say and how I show love.  I didn’t say I was perfect in this but God is perfecting this place of refuge.

We can always be more kind and graceful in showing the love of Christ.

Finding refuge in the Word is spot on when it comes to removing childhood hurts, pains, and strains our fragile self-esteem.  When you understand God’s deep love for you and you will only hear His words of affirmation and approval over you.  All those clumsy words that linger in your mind will soon fade.  It’s as if God has His hand on a giant eraser as your teacher with His hidden chalkboard.  The Holy Spirit removes the evidence of any unloving words spoken over you and wipes your memory of them from spilling out into your life.

Let God be your teacher on showing and speaking love to yourself and to others.  It’s the only safe place of refuge that hears those awkward notions that hinder and hurt.  I know…I’ve been there often.

Who hasn’t suffered hurtful words?  Let your love of Christ be evidenced in your words to others.  We all need more refuge for love spoken in us and through us.

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